Passion or Hyper Sensitivity

I have spent several years learning about illness, learning about depression.  Learning about the characteristics of depression, and what I experience that many others experience, and what I experience that isn't quite so typical of others. 

One of the characteristics that I have found that many people with depression expereince, is that they are hyper sensitive.  Hyper sensitive to everything that the world has to offer.  We seem to dabble in multiple passions:  children wronged, elderly wronged, work issues, political issues to name a few.  We are hyper sensative about our family, about our God, and about life in general. 

Does anyone else feel this way?  I often felt like there was always a fire to put out, and if there wasn't something that was personally affecting such as the death of our son, or our youngest son being diagnosed with developmental delays.  I would create fires to extinguish, local community issues, work issues.  It was exhausting to always have my body in a hyper sensative mode.  Somehow I thrived on this. 

It amazes me the amount of time that was wasted feeling like I was on high alert for the next issue.  When I could have better spent my time, playing with my children, or enjoying my husband, or finding something to laugh about. 

This level of hyper sensitivity, though may have started as part of the depression, or maybe a personality characteristics that potentially made me vulnerable to the illness of depression.  I continue to be a hyper sensitive person, but now I try to be selective with how I invest my energies.

Hi, I am new to the world of blogging.  I am wanting to create a safe place to discuss Major/Clinical depression or dysthimia. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a counselor.  I am simply a person that lives with this disease.  I am trying very hard to live a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise, eating healthy foods, and taking care of myself emotionally, rather then reverting to the world of medication. 

I will be the first say that if medication is necesasary, USE IT.  My own illness took me to such dispair, that sadly I have to admit that I have a past suicide attempt.  One attempt, and only one attempt, and by the grace of God, there will be no further attempts.  I will most definitely go back to using medication and/or being hospitalized before I would attempt to take my own life again. 

Depression is a weird illness, and I expect that as the science of how the mind works becomes more specialized, and the secrets of our thoughts are revealed that the diagnosis of depression is going to change.  Currently, there is no medical reason why some people struggle with depression.  Two people can have seemingly normal circumstances, seemingly similar lives, and yet one will expereince depression and the other will not. 

Sometimes, I think there is as many reasons why people experience depression as there are types of depression.  In the end, we all experience a mood disorder, we all struggle to feel satisified with ourseles emotionally.  We all feel slow, or struggle to concentrate, or feel that we are at the brink of tears all the time. 

I can't describe what others feel, but for me, I feel as if the world is a huge amusement park, and everyone else is laughing and having a good time, while I am holding myself back from the enjoyment that the world has to offer.  It is as if I prevent myself from enjoying the happiness that the world has to offer. 

How do you describe your depression?